I bet he comes in French.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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