Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
