Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
