I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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