How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Bring me that man meat
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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