so that wasnt chicken after all
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
