In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
