I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
