The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
