love makes seman taste better
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
