i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
