That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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