Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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