who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
