last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
God I need to hump something, right now.
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