Whod you bang
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize