covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
