in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
