Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
