i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
