Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I can text with my tongue
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
