better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
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