Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
