How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
