i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
