after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
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