Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
