Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
