so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
