Whod you bang
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
