I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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