Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
