Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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