When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
