Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
