just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize