I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
