Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
