i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
