Sponge bath it is.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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