Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
