she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
