I can feel you judging me through the phone.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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