No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
