The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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