What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
