I only kidnapped one of them. chill
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
This is the high leading the old right now
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
