my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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