Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
