it was like his penis was on wheels.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
