You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
