i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
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