You just made me feel so damn special
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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