Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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