Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
im about as happy as oj after his trial
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
