You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
