I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
