It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
she told me i tasted like america
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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