im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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