He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
