what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
