Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
