Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
