I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Did we literally take a cab across the street
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I would fuck him just for his dog
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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