Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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