I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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